I wanna bring you to show and tell
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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