So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
