she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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