I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
