At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
