That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
