what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
