Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
