i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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