is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
