Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i love accidental penises.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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