I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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