He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize