Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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