Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
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