Your mouth is God's brothel.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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