Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize