Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
