Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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