Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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