he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize