I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
