that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
