His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
