She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
