we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
