if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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