he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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