If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
my mouth tastes like poor choices
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
