still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
