If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
