im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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