I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Semen is not good for contacts.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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