News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
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