i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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