awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize