you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
