I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
