im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
