We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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