I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize