My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
