She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Let's get the cat blown out
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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