He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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