Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize