Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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