There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
kristin has been a bad kristin
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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