We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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