you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
