I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
