Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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