How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
