THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
