2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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