I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize