is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
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