make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
