Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I know her cup size but not her name....
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
