Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
