I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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