BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
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