i jhust puked up my retainher.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize