Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
