What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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