So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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