watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
