Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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