that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
